Covering the right half of my hoo-ha & stretching down to Say It to My Face Or Shut The Fuck Up shirt the inside of my butt cheek. Vision returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull off half the strip. Everything is spinning & spotted. I think I may pass out… must stay conscious… must stay conscious.

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I want to Say It to My Face Or Shut The Fuck Up shirt see my trophy – a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. The hair that should be on the strip… it’s not! I touch… I am touching wax! Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

Then I make the next BIG mistake… remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to Say It to My Face Or Shut The Fuck Up shirt do something. So I put my foot down. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do. What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!